Day Two.
Today is a different day. Today is still just as sad but my heart isn't as torn.
Today, I woke up from a restful sleep, I had breakfast and I cried whatever left over sadness that was still inside me. But, I'm slowly getting back to normal.
Wednesday night was horrid. Thursday was even worse. I've never cried so many painful tears in my entire life. But things started to lift Thursday night. I really appreciate that you took the time to talk to me for a few minutes just to clear the air. We sat and talked and we even laughed a little. I came to your house with wide expectations that maybe, just maybe, you'd have a change of heart. But sadly, things just don't work that way. I drove to your house thinking of what to say and how to say them. I rehearsed the entire drive there. Palms sweating and heart racing. I knew that before I would say "If you don't want to be with me then lose my phone number, don't call or text. I'm done" but in reality that was just my pride talking. I wanted you to call me and to talk to me. So I came to you to tell you everything that I had to get off my chest. I still love you. I'm so in love with you and I want us to work but you don't feel the same way and that's totally fine.
You, as a amazing person, are entitled to your emotions and feelings and I respect that...
The reason things are so much easier on me today is that I got the closure I was yearning for. I said everything that I felt and I didn't get to do that before. I know that I gave it my all and I can live my life knowing that all my strive and efforts were on the table. I will not have to wonder "what If I had told him this, would he still be with me?" I know I did everything within my control and power to make sure that I was 100% clear on how I felt and you were crystal about your feelings.
Am I hurting? I'd be a cold person If I wasn't. Do I love you? With everything fragment of my body. But, I accept the fact that sometimes two people are meant for each other and I honestly don't have a damn clue about life. Maybe a week, month, 3 years down the line we run into each other again and maybe we can start things over? Who knows? But, I won't be putting my life on hold just to see if that could happen. I love you so much and I will always love you but I know that we ran our course and it came to an end. All good things in life are worth fighting for and we fought hard, it's time to call it a day.
Iravin, you meant more to me than you ever know and I'm so incredibly sorry we didn't make things work.
I still have hope.
Today, I woke up from a restful sleep, I had breakfast and I cried whatever left over sadness that was still inside me. But, I'm slowly getting back to normal.
Wednesday night was horrid. Thursday was even worse. I've never cried so many painful tears in my entire life. But things started to lift Thursday night. I really appreciate that you took the time to talk to me for a few minutes just to clear the air. We sat and talked and we even laughed a little. I came to your house with wide expectations that maybe, just maybe, you'd have a change of heart. But sadly, things just don't work that way. I drove to your house thinking of what to say and how to say them. I rehearsed the entire drive there. Palms sweating and heart racing. I knew that before I would say "If you don't want to be with me then lose my phone number, don't call or text. I'm done" but in reality that was just my pride talking. I wanted you to call me and to talk to me. So I came to you to tell you everything that I had to get off my chest. I still love you. I'm so in love with you and I want us to work but you don't feel the same way and that's totally fine.
You, as a amazing person, are entitled to your emotions and feelings and I respect that...
The reason things are so much easier on me today is that I got the closure I was yearning for. I said everything that I felt and I didn't get to do that before. I know that I gave it my all and I can live my life knowing that all my strive and efforts were on the table. I will not have to wonder "what If I had told him this, would he still be with me?" I know I did everything within my control and power to make sure that I was 100% clear on how I felt and you were crystal about your feelings.
Am I hurting? I'd be a cold person If I wasn't. Do I love you? With everything fragment of my body. But, I accept the fact that sometimes two people are meant for each other and I honestly don't have a damn clue about life. Maybe a week, month, 3 years down the line we run into each other again and maybe we can start things over? Who knows? But, I won't be putting my life on hold just to see if that could happen. I love you so much and I will always love you but I know that we ran our course and it came to an end. All good things in life are worth fighting for and we fought hard, it's time to call it a day.
Iravin, you meant more to me than you ever know and I'm so incredibly sorry we didn't make things work.
I still have hope.
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