BUSY BUSY

Hello My lovelies,

This week has been tremendously busy for me at work. I haven't been able to write some good content for you.
But on the plus side, my boyfriend and I are going away this weekend to celebrate my birthday! I'm super excited and will have tons to write about next week!

In the mean time, here is one of my favorite excerpts from my old tumblr page that I wrote about 2 years ago.
Some food for thought:





You know how the earth goes through seasonal changes? I’m starting to realize that so do I.

4 months ago I was Margie. Today, I’m still Margie but my leaves are different. The air is different. The sky is different. It just *feels* different.

I’ve learned so much about myself in a short period of time. What I like. What I don’t like. Who I’m supposed to be. Who I want to be. What I see myself as. I was docile. I was meek. Now, I’m confident. I’m certain. I’m a go getter.

It took a lot to get here. It took more change than stability to realize where I want to stand in line. Alone. Without anyone’s description. Experiencing things for the first time all by myself. Unsettling but manageable.

Change was never something I hoped for. It was always a fragment of thought I turned the other cheek to. Now, I run full force towards it because the most major changes in my life as of recently have brought me nothing but positivity and happiness.

I guess it started with my brothers wedding.
I never thought, I always hoped, he’d never marry. But he did and I had to accept that.

Secondly, my father conceived another child that wasn’t with my mother and I learned about and met my new baby brother when he was 2 months old… As hard as it was, I love that little dude.

Thirdly, going on a quest to find my happiness in travel, music, writing and piercings.
I got my nipples pierced and to some, that may not seem like a big deal, but to me it is. I was always scared of disappointing people. Afraid of what people thought of me. Until one day I opened my eyes and truly believed in the two words everyone should love by: FUCK IT.
I got my nipples pierced, for my damn self and I love them.
I then proceeded to get my nose pierced. Aside from my mom hating me for a minute, I think I look fucking cute with it.

Fourth, leaving my best friend. It was a decision that was ultimately the hardest thing that I had the courage to do but along with all the other changes in my life, I knew I had to make a change in myself and my relationship. I was so unhappy for some time and I was suffocating on my own words and fears. I was tired. I was spent trying to save face and say I was happy when I really wasn’t. So, if you’re reading this and I know you will… I’m sorry for ever causing you sadness. It sucks because you were more than just my boyfriend, you were everything to me but I don’t need you to be my everything anymore. It’s impossible to say that I stopped loving you. I haven’t. But it’s not the same kind of love that I would look into your eyes and say.. Please know that. I’ve moved on and I hope you do too, at your own pace.

Lastly, the biggest change as of recent is “him.”
I romanticize our story everyday in my head and it never gets old.
He’s the guy I look forward to seeing the most. The guy that calls to say good morning instead of good night. The guy who encourages me to go and get a tattoo because you can pull it off. The guy who blows kisses at me as we’re driving down the freeway. I’m happy. He makes me stupid happy. We work well together and although I have absolutely no idea where “this” is going, I’m satisfied for right now. He may be around for another week or he way be around for the rest of my life but I’m definitely in no rush to find out.
Slowly. I’m learning. Accepting. Realizing. Comprehending. Loving. Moving. Changing.

Just as we’ve moved into autumn, I’m loving this new season within myself.