Sleepless in Socal

I can't sleep. It's 4 am and I'm wide awake. I'm staring at my computer screen sipping on my tea as if it were the middle of the day. I miss you and I wish things were better, not only with us but within myself. I get lost from time to time and it takes me a while to find where I left myself. I can't sleep. It's 4 am and I'm missing you. I can picture those beautiful lashes of your resting on your cheeks as you sleep and the wrinkles you'll get on your shirt from gently tossing and turning tonight. I can perfectly envision the position your put your body next to mine and hold me. We're not broken up. We're still very much in love but all this time away from you kills me. I want you now and I forever and I mean that with every ounce of my soul. I want to get into silly little fights with you then laugh it off. I want to make cookies with you and end up eating the cookie dough. I want to go on a diet with you and then order 2 large pizzas and a coke. I want you to hold me at night as if you're afraid that I'm going to disappear into thin air. I want to feel every tingle, every breath and every kiss that I've ever received from you and replay it when I'm not with you. I want to consumed by you in every form. I want to feel all of your love the way two adults in love should. 
     I love your toes, I love your perfect teeth, I love your gentle snores, I love your tattoo, I love the way you smell. There's so much about you that I could never ask you to change. You're like a brand new book, so perfect and strong and I never want to open you up and risk weakening your spine. To say that you make me feel like I could accomplish anything is an understatement. You make me feel like I am everything. I would study every religion and get closer to their god, just to see if I can find one, and thank him for creating something as beautiful as you. You hold me together.
     It's kind of a funny story, our relationship. We started off as friends, it grew so intensely and so quickly and that scared the hell out of me. I broke what we had. I never really apologized for leaving you in the dark the way that I did. You simply accepted it and carried on, and I respect that. But, you would eventually leave me hints and signs that you missed me. I'd return those hints right back at you and even though it took me a while, I came running back. If we were going to do this again, we were going to do it right. And we did. And so we are. Two years later and we still act as if we've only just met. I hold you in my hands and look at you as if you're made of gold. You glimmer and shine, reflect the light so beautifully. You're priceless in my eyes and I swear that I would work so hard, sweat blood and grind my fingers to the bone just so I can afford you.
     I hear people talk about "our relationship has hit the snooze button" and I don't understand how that's happened. I can never imagine that happened to us. I look at you and I sigh. You kiss my cheek and I blush. You slap my butt and tell me you love me and I toss myself onto you. It's never going to go away and It's never going to go old. I've never met anyone like you, you're curious, you're mysterious, you're headstrong, so stubborn and hardheaded, but you're perfect to me. I know that at times, my affection might be a little excessive, but that's only because I've never had a love like this. I want it, I crave all the time. "I love you" doesn't skim the surface, not in any language, not in any font, no matter how many times I say it or how loud...it will never be enough. There will never be a justification for "a higher love" so I will just accept the three letter phrase and express it. I love you my handsome, I promise that I do.