This Ship Is Sinking Faster Than The Titanic!
Hello My Lovelies,
Unappreciated. Unworthy. Those are the word of the day. They're the word of the day because these is how I've been feeling lately and I fucking hate it. Ladies, PLEASE tell me you can somehow relate to what I'm feeling.
I'm going to be blatantly honest and real with all my girls out there who take the time out of their day to read the shit I write. Yes, I love each and every single one of you beautiful souls. But damn, it's so hard to try to be the perfect girlfriend/fiance/wife/partner!!
First and foremost, I adore my boyfriend and I am absolutely in love with this man without a doubt but sadly, I've been feeling like I'm more of a routine than a significant other. As all relationships come to that fork in the road, our relationship has gotten stale and boring and I'm killing myself everyday to try to spice things up and it's so damn hard. As a lot of you know that I'm currently unemployed and that brings a huge burden to my relationship because I can't contribute as much as I'd like and as much as he'd like me to. I don't ask for much. All I ever want from him is his love and attention and I feel like I hardly get the attention.
Let me be real here, I'm a female. I bleed out of my "hoo-ha" every month, I cry when I watch love movies and I am sensitive over my body. I'm guilty as charged. I love flowers, I love chocolates, I adore cute hand written notes but sadly, I don't get any of that. I kind of feel forgotten. He see's me but looks straight through. When we first started dating it was roses on Tuesdays just because it was Tuesday and spontaneous date nights and cute phone calls at 11 pm at night to tell me to come outside because he was waiting for me. I feel unappreciated now.
As of lately, I've been trying extra hard to show my love and appreciation for my boyfriend because since I don't have the funds to spoil him like I'd love to, I have to scramble to find other ways. I spend the weekends at his house and I hide cute little hand written notes all over his room like in the pocket of his jeans or coats, in his shoes and in his pillow case where I know he'll find them eventually. I verbally express my admiration and appreciation as well as use him as my muse for my writing. Recently, I came up with some money from a quick job I had and to show my admiration for him supporting me because I didn't have a job, I shelled out $70 bucks for an Xbox One game he wanted, he never asked me for it and didn't expect it but I was glad to surprise him and the look on his face was such a great payoff.
I'm not trying to gloat or level up on him, that's not my intent. What I'm trying to say is, I try the best that I can to SHOW my love for him in any way possible whether it be materialistic things or sentimental ways. It's the thought that counts. Lately, I've been feeling like he figures that him spending time with me on Wednesdays and Fridays is enough and that I should be satisfied that I was graced with his presence. It's not enough. I do appreciate him seeing me but just because we're hanging out doesn't mean that's romantic and doesn't mean that I feel fireworks like I used to. He brings up the argument that we go out to eat on a weekly basis, sometimes twice a week and he always pays... but here's the thing. I have been very adamant about not asking him to take me out to eat, he decides to get food on his own but he apparently still feels that him feeding me is enough. It's not.
I'm a girl, I need roses, affection, buy me cheap jewelry from the mall, write a note to me, text me at 3 AM to tell me that you thought about me on your way to go pee. ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING. It honestly feels like we're a broken record and I'm SO afraid of falling out of love with him because I can feel my hourglass tipping. I know that if I break out of my shell and talk to him about this, it's going to cause a huge fight and someone's feelings are going to get hurt. I'm so done and over with fighting because that's all we used to do in the beginning of our relationship but it makes me think "Is this all there is for us?" That's it?? I want to be reminded why I fell in love with him. I want to FEEL special and not just told that I am. Granted, I know that he loves me but I feel like he's only doing the bare minimum. I wish I could talk to him about this without him getting offended.
Any other ladies out there feel forgotten like me?
What do I do?
Unappreciated. Unworthy. Those are the word of the day. They're the word of the day because these is how I've been feeling lately and I fucking hate it. Ladies, PLEASE tell me you can somehow relate to what I'm feeling.
I'm going to be blatantly honest and real with all my girls out there who take the time out of their day to read the shit I write. Yes, I love each and every single one of you beautiful souls. But damn, it's so hard to try to be the perfect girlfriend/fiance/wife/partner!!
First and foremost, I adore my boyfriend and I am absolutely in love with this man without a doubt but sadly, I've been feeling like I'm more of a routine than a significant other. As all relationships come to that fork in the road, our relationship has gotten stale and boring and I'm killing myself everyday to try to spice things up and it's so damn hard. As a lot of you know that I'm currently unemployed and that brings a huge burden to my relationship because I can't contribute as much as I'd like and as much as he'd like me to. I don't ask for much. All I ever want from him is his love and attention and I feel like I hardly get the attention.
Let me be real here, I'm a female. I bleed out of my "hoo-ha" every month, I cry when I watch love movies and I am sensitive over my body. I'm guilty as charged. I love flowers, I love chocolates, I adore cute hand written notes but sadly, I don't get any of that. I kind of feel forgotten. He see's me but looks straight through. When we first started dating it was roses on Tuesdays just because it was Tuesday and spontaneous date nights and cute phone calls at 11 pm at night to tell me to come outside because he was waiting for me. I feel unappreciated now.
As of lately, I've been trying extra hard to show my love and appreciation for my boyfriend because since I don't have the funds to spoil him like I'd love to, I have to scramble to find other ways. I spend the weekends at his house and I hide cute little hand written notes all over his room like in the pocket of his jeans or coats, in his shoes and in his pillow case where I know he'll find them eventually. I verbally express my admiration and appreciation as well as use him as my muse for my writing. Recently, I came up with some money from a quick job I had and to show my admiration for him supporting me because I didn't have a job, I shelled out $70 bucks for an Xbox One game he wanted, he never asked me for it and didn't expect it but I was glad to surprise him and the look on his face was such a great payoff.
I'm not trying to gloat or level up on him, that's not my intent. What I'm trying to say is, I try the best that I can to SHOW my love for him in any way possible whether it be materialistic things or sentimental ways. It's the thought that counts. Lately, I've been feeling like he figures that him spending time with me on Wednesdays and Fridays is enough and that I should be satisfied that I was graced with his presence. It's not enough. I do appreciate him seeing me but just because we're hanging out doesn't mean that's romantic and doesn't mean that I feel fireworks like I used to. He brings up the argument that we go out to eat on a weekly basis, sometimes twice a week and he always pays... but here's the thing. I have been very adamant about not asking him to take me out to eat, he decides to get food on his own but he apparently still feels that him feeding me is enough. It's not.
I'm a girl, I need roses, affection, buy me cheap jewelry from the mall, write a note to me, text me at 3 AM to tell me that you thought about me on your way to go pee. ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING. It honestly feels like we're a broken record and I'm SO afraid of falling out of love with him because I can feel my hourglass tipping. I know that if I break out of my shell and talk to him about this, it's going to cause a huge fight and someone's feelings are going to get hurt. I'm so done and over with fighting because that's all we used to do in the beginning of our relationship but it makes me think "Is this all there is for us?" That's it?? I want to be reminded why I fell in love with him. I want to FEEL special and not just told that I am. Granted, I know that he loves me but I feel like he's only doing the bare minimum. I wish I could talk to him about this without him getting offended.
Any other ladies out there feel forgotten like me?
What do I do?
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