Baby fever and no signs of stopping.

Let me start off by saying, "Yes, I'm one of those girls." All my life, ever since I could remember I always wanted a baby brother or sister. I begged and begged my parents for a new sibling and they would always say that they couldn't have anymore. I didn't understand why they couldn't so I would pray every night for one, I would ask Santa every year, I'd blow out my birthday candles and wish for one, I'd lay out in my lawn at night searching for a shooting star to wish upon. No avail :( After many years of let down and seeing the sad look on my moms face when I would ask her why she wasn't pregnant, she finally sat me down and explained to me that after I was born her uterus kept growing as if she was still pregnant or had newly became pregnant (which was impossible because she had just given birth to me and wasn't allowed to have intercourse for about 6+ weeks after birth) so her doctor told her that her uterus is growing abnormally with no signs of stopping or shrinking and had to get it removed to avoid any further complications. My mom and dad thought about this and if it was right for their family and if they really wanted to stop at three children(I was the 3rd). Turns out they decided to go for it and felt that three kids was plenty and my mom had her uterus removed(hysterectomy). When I was old enough to understand that, It made a lot of sense as to why Santa skipped out on my brother or sister lol. So, the next best thing to a sibling was a cousin! Luckily, my family is like a breeding factory and babies just walk out of the walls. So I smothered myself in every new baby cousin and I learned to hold them properly, feed and burp them, change their diapers and all that jazz.

My adoration for babies grew that much more and I became obsessed with them. I'd watch "A Baby Story" on TLC and google newborns and watch documentaries on giving birth so I knew all the gory details of child birth. From the moment I was old enough to date, I'd always had this emptiness inside of me that only my own child could fill. So with every boyfriend I had, I'd fantasize of us having a happy family and what they'd look like etc. Mind you, I lost my virginity when I was 18 years old(so I was not tempting fate with trying to get pregnant) I knew the consequences but it didn't stop me from mentally dreaming about my own baby. From that moment on, It was a battle of "I want to get pregnant" and "shit, I can't be pregnant" and it's been like that to this day haha I've been with my current boyfriend for two years now and there was a time where we had a 'scare' and we both talked about the could-have-been-baby as if it was set in stone that I actually was pregnant: "We'll take care of it, we can raise it, we can do this together" and all the while, I wasn't even sure that I was pregnant lol but that little moment in my life was the scariest moment I've ever experienced. I felt like my life had ended and I was nervous and anxious all the time and then a couple days later, what used to be my monthly enemy became my best friend! After that scare, I always feel a little twinge of "aww man, I wanted a baby" and I get a little upset that I didn't become pregnant. But, life goes on. If this post is confusing you into thinking that I am trying to get pregnant, please realized that I am NOT TRYING to get pregnant, I know the hardships a baby could bring and the consequences that come along with one, I am simply saying I have a want for a baby of my own.  

I am 21 years old, dating the man of my friends for two years now and I really want a baby! Luckily for me, my boyfriend has a head on his shoulders and wants the same family life that I do, Marriage, kids the whole nine yards but everything has it's right time and place. He always brings my head out of the clouds and down to earth. Will I have a baby soon? Who knows, anything could happen. Am I trying to conceive? Absolutely not. Does that mean I still wish for a baby? Of course! I think it goes without saying that the majority of women out there are just like me. Not all, but most that yearn for a baby. I don't think this feeling will ever go away until the day that pregnancy test comes out with a +. 

Until that day, I'll stick to baby shows lol

*Teen pregnancy is at an all time low! Since the 1990's girls from the age of 15-17, the rate has dropped by 52%. Girls from 18 and 19, the rate has dropped by 36%!! This is amazing!*